First there was coronavirus. Then murder hornets. Now a year's supply of ice cream in a month every month. A generous Christmas gift has blessed our humble home of two with five pints of Salt and Straw ice cream for the remaining 12 months of our lives. At the end of which we presumably turn into an ice cream. Or a cholesterol embolus. And if we are going to go down gorging, we may as well provide an objective* measurement of our gorging.
Each month we'll provide a break down of that month's 5 unique Salt and Straw ice cream flavors with our official vote on its quality, worthiness, and general testament to the need for its existence on this planet. Which will be recorded as a ten point score. For me, my 10/10 best in life ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream with S'mores a close runner up. For Liz, her 10/10 is Haagen-Daz's Dulce de Leche with Tolenti's Egg Nog a reasonable sub in a pinch. And away we go, December's offerings...!
- Cocoa with Peppermint Patties
Me: Good solid chocolate. Tasty peppermint patties. As billed. I'd eat it.
7/10
Liz: I liked it. Good peppermint flavor. Good chocolate. I'd eat it.
7/10
- The Great Cookie Swap (vegan)
Me: Barf. Pass.
No/10
Liz: Good, but not worth the fat.
4/10
- Gingerbread Cookie Dough
Me: Very cold. Probably great for those who love gingerbread. Maybe just decent for everyone else. And yet here I am eating two bowls of it in a row. Maybe I love gingerbread?
6.5/10.
Liz: Maybe a 6.
6/10.
- Almond Brittle with Salted Ganache
Me: First bite was "wow, this is pretty amazing." Then I had a little bit of the salted ganache, and was like, "wow that was pretty amazing." Then after about a dozen more spoonfuls I said to myself, "you know, for an ice cream flavor leading with 'Almond Brittle' in its name I sure don't taste much in the way of almond brittle." Then I found some almond brittle and, friends, no thanks. I mean, if you love almond brittle and wish it was thrown in large chunks into a frozen dessert, this may be for you. But not me. Too hard and cold. And almondy. And salty.
6.5/10 (just Salted Ganache: 8.5/10)
Liz: This one's good, but I feel like I've had better Salt and Straw flavors. I don't usually go for ice cream flavors that, like, have a lot of stuff folded into them. Are you going to put this all down? Oh, I just got a really delicious bite of chocolate ganache. Oh yeah, that's really good chocolate. And, oh, here's a bite of almond brittle.
7/10
- Dwanta's Teremania Spiked Eggnog
Me: It tastes like eggnog if it was frozen. Which is good, but also somehow... unremarkable? Uninspired? Pedestrian? Just boring.
6/10
Liz: The booze isn't overwhelming, but more than I want in an ice cream. I mean the eggnog under layer is good, but I'd rather eat regular eggnog ice cream like Telanti Eggnog gelato**
3/10
*By objective we mean entirely subjective. Opposite Day!
**This blog post in no way is intended to serve as an official endorsement of or advertisement for Haagen-daz or Talenti frozen desserts. It it intended, however, to be a wholehearted endorsement of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream. Americone Dream 2024!
