I like myself some pizza. In fact I on average like myself some pizza about two times a week. It would seem that I also like regularity as I tend to alternate between two different pizza topping combos from the same Papa Johns every time I purchase (neither of which involves pineapple). Sometimes, though, things fall apart and the pizza people screw up my order -- but I don't mind because that usually means I get things for free. Just a week or two ago such an event took place and I arrived to find that they had for me a medium ham and green pepper instead of a medium pepperoni and green pepper. The obvious solution? Make a large pepperoni and green pepper and give them both to me for free. Yeah, it didn't make sense to me either, but who am I to repudiate their generosity?
The problem with sixteen slices of pizza was, however, that a typical medium two topping pizza lasts me two days, and although I do like pizza I don't like it for four or five days in a row. So my next task was to desperately try to find anyone I knew who was in town and happened to want a free medium ham and pepper pizza. It turned out that was absolutely no one. The few people I managed to contact quickly lost interest once ham was mentioned, but most people I didn't even get a hold of. So, worrying that I'd be forced to either throw the pizza away or eat it for five days in a row to avoid being especially wasteful, I turned to my neighbors. Thankfully for everyone involved I discovered my neighbors are not particularly picky people. Not only was a ham and green peppers pizza acceptable to them, but judging by their reactions no single act of kindness has ever compared with such a gift. Even a few days later they thanked me again for my charity. I'm pretty sure there's even now a framed picture of me hanging in their foyer. And it all didn't cost me a dime.
Which brings me to the moral of my story. Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country. Okay so I plagiarized a bit and my plagiarism doesn't necessarily make much sense, but, truthfully, that's the point. My lovely neighbors -- despite my informing them otherwise -- thought I was sharing greatly out of the pure kindness of my heart. I was simply trying to get rid of stuff I felt too guilty to throw away. The pizza guys probably gave me my pizzas for free because it cost them nothing and doing so prevented complaints. I like to think they just appreciated my business. Our perceptions are inaccurate and so our perspectives become misguided. Keeping a ledger of all the rights and wrongs that we perceive are done to us then does not lead to an economical assessment of relationships but only to an excessive attention to self and a blindness to all the blessings already bestowed. As whether others are being selfless or selfish we will probably most of the time never know, it's frequently a whole lot easier and likely happier to not even worry about it. Free, mysterious pizza from family or friends is usually best enjoyed with just a little gratitude.
The end.
And now for a picture of Matt Bonner.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!
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