T-15 Minutes: Hiding in the Cactus Cave

I'm not sure what you are supposed to feel right before you get married. Given the wedding party and I were huddled in a dark cave adjacent to the ceremony site, secretly sequestered away, I'm not even sure what I did feel was what *is* commonly felt. Nevertheless I felt excited. Happy. Ready to do this thing. I felt a little anxious too, but only in as much as I worried I would mess up my part of the performance (I did later flub my vows... 😅). I was in a beautiful place with my friends and family who loved me, about to commit myself to a lifetime with my best friend. I cannot recall any chilly feet or burgeoning second thoughts. Perhaps I just lack introspection or appreciation of the tasks ahead to keep a long term relationship flourishing. Perhaps I was just too excited about that donut castle. But if uncertainty or any of those feelings are at all a part of  the normal spectrum of feeling before marriage they are not feelings I felt. Waiting for Queen's "Somebody to Love" to start playing, waiting for my cue, I mostly just felt like I wanted to get the ceremony over with. Say the magic words, marry my bride, and enjoy the party the best that I could as someone responsible for hosting said party. Then, finally, after the dramatic crescendo concluded with an equally dramatic drum strike I, along with my parents, began my walk towards forever.

To infinity and beyond!

[I was stationed at the top of the stairs with my dad, behind a corner. I had 15 minutes to wait up there and nothing to do except think about the nerves. As soon as I took my post, I felt rumbling in my bowels and hoped I could make it through the ceremony without making a dramatic run to the bathroom. I wanted so badly to sneak peeks at what was going on below, but my coordinator signaled to me to get out of view. I resented some of the DJ's song choices (any song I hadn't pre-selected) but had no way of communicating to her. Maybe I should've brought a crossword.]

We thought it best to wait in the cave until it was clear the crowd wasn't hostile.