Monkey Island

In late December of 2017, just after Christmas, we visited Monkey Island, a small island off a bigger island in the middle of the Caribbean. The Caribbean islands as a whole have not had native primate species for some time, but some number of decades ago that changed. A population of rhesus macaques was brought to Cayo Santiago just off the southeastern coast of Puerto Rico to establish a research colony for primate research at the nearby Caribbean Primate Research Center. Our visit was just a short while after Hurricane Maria and the research center, nearby town of Punta Santiago, and monkey island had all been hit hard.

Our trip was part of a greater series of relief efforts which would slowly help rebuild some of the town and research center. The island itself had few permanent pre-storm structures -- the monkeys had never gotten around to building any themselves -- but the few that existed were mostly blown over or, in many cases, damaged beyond repair. Thankfully the dock which is the only means of shepherding supplies to and from the larger island remained intact. Although it is always difficult to do accurate counts given there are estimated to be 1,000+ macaques broken down into a number of mobiles groups on the island at any given time, it is estimated that only a few monkeys perished during and after the storm. Shortly after the hurricane passed the first priority was repairing Punta Santiago's dock that served as the point of departure for the daily monkey chow to the island as its vegetation and limited resources cannot support the monkeys long. This was completed by the time we arrived -- though there were still many gaps in the planks and missing boards. Our task was to help with debris clearance in anticipation of the future rebuild.

For two days we ferried over to the island and hauled twisted metal and splintered wood from one place to another. It was hot and humid even in December, and, with a few older individuals participating in the venture, we took far more breaks than probably were warranted, but nevertheless we succeeded in moving individual pieces of debris into huge piles of debris for latter shuttling off the island. Along the way we were occasionally followed by monkeys, but typically more often we were ignored completely. There was a little bit of monkey sex and a bit more monkey fighting and that was it. Aside from monkey chow time -- when the monkeys would swarm and stuff as many monkey biscuits into their hands, tails, and pockets as possible before running off awkwardly on their hind legs -- and periodic monkey migrations -- when a large herd of seemingly endless monkeys would move en masse for presumably brilliant monkey reasons -- the monkeys were more scenery than major players in our Monkey Island visit. Which is probably good because they can both be ornery and disease vectors which is never a good combination (see Herpes B virus). Interspersed amongst the monkeys were a number of iguanas that seemed equally indifferent to the presence of either of us. The most surprising aspect of our trip to Monkey Island was actually not the fauna but the flora. Or rather the lack of it. While once tropical and green the storm winds had stripped most of the leaves from the palms that typically provided cover and a once shaded island was now quite sun exposed. This was true not just of Monkey Island, but much of Puerto Rico as a whole. The power of the hurricane was still clearly visible even 3 months later.

Our work on Monkey Island aside we also helped repair some roofs, scrub mold off a ceiling -- or at least tried to, and pulled up soggy old flooring from nearby homes. There were thankfully folks with better carpentry skills than our own so hopefully the efforts are lasting. Local accommodations were provided at a hotel in the capital which was almost entirely occupied by electrical workers and individuals from various governmental and nongovernmental organizations. Although the country side and city of San Juan were not as destroyed as I had feared, the impact was still clearly present as the destruction of the island's power grid led to regular power shortages even a hundred days later and traffic lights that still didn't function. We also visited with a friend of Liz's, Nicky, who worked at the primate center and lived in a nice little town home nearby. We toured some of the nearby beaches, visited Old San Juan -- which I think is a beautiful gem of a historical town -- and ate a good number of plantains in its various incarnations. Although not a huge fan of mofongo I will never turn down a good fried plantain. 😃💟🍌

The Dot With the Smudge In the Sky

Comet NEOWISE got a lot of attention recently because, well, I guess because it's a comet. Being celestial object loving folks -- Liz in particular -- we decided a few evenings back to find some place dark and untraveled to take a look as Davis, despite being a small town, is next to a fairly big town, Sacramento, and in a haze concentrating valley, Hades. For whatever reason this required us driving about an hour northwest. I admittedly started to loose faith in my trusty navigator -- the aforementioned and quite beautiful Liz -- as we seemed to be heading into worse viewing areas around the 45 minute mark. We approached the coastal mountains raising the horizon on the west, the endlessly flat fields of Davis and Dixon were being replaced by the scrubby trees of central California, and we passed the giant Cache Creek Casino which served as a beacon of both artificial light and continuous car traffic in the darkness. Nevertheless a few minutes later we found another large and abandoned field with few trees and pulled over. After a few minutes of adjusting our eyes and about an hour or so after sunset we finally saw it. A moderately bright star in the northwest that, if you looked closely -- or crosseyed apparently if you are Liz, had a faint whispy glow extending above it. Looking at it closer with the binoculars it looked much the same, but clearer. Like a period you made with a pencil and then attempted to erase with a crappy eraser leading to a giant graphite smudge. It wasn't anything dramatic, but it was pretty. It was also the first comet I've actually ever seen. I missed comet Hale-Bopp in the 90's and purposefully opted out of comet MMMbop that same year. Because of its closeness to the horizon and dusk it never got terribly bright, but it was a unique experience and one that I am glad I got to share with my loving companion. The one hour drive back home was pretty boring, but every good comet story has to include a prolonged drive to nowhere doesn't it? Doesn't it?

Dorian

Dorian Gray was my first cat. Adopted when I married my wonderful wife and his loving mother Liz Carbone. I was never much of a cat person – didn’t dislike them so much, but didn’t find much *to like* about them – but Dorian and his brothers were our kitties, and he was exceptional. He warmed my heart over not because he was “like a dog” as most dog lovers often say about cats they have any affection for. In fact, he in many ways wasn’t even the best cat. He had the stinkiest radioactive poops I have ever experienced which he would periodically leave behind in places of his choosing. He had unwarranted aggression for his brothers, Jimmy Page in particular, leading to an almost daily deluge of cat punches and ear bites. And he was the biggest food thief I have ever met, willing to commit breaking and entering crimes in order to get access to his favorite prizes: butter, vegetable oil, and cheese. It was these things, combined with some more adorable quirks in his behavior, which gave him personality and made him unique. His vow of silence broken only by occasional gremlin-like cat noises was funny and endearing. His love hate relationship with Jimmy made for an endless source of Snapchats and illustrated portraits. And his nuzzling, head bumping love for his mom, which was only shown periodically on inexplicable whims, also made him a special and great cat. A cat I will always remember, and a cat I will honestly miss. You were a great little angry guy, Dorian Gray, and you died too soon. I am only happy we caught your illness in time to prepare for it some and put you to your final rest before you became too uncomfortable with life. I can only hope our future cats, and Jimmy and Robert’s future brothers, will be just a little bit like you. Except for the atomic turds perhaps.

RIP little buddy. 

Love always, dad. 

T+100ish Hours: Denouement

After the wedding was, apparently, the picking up of the wedding. Thankfully the Stone House allowed us to complete the majority of this the following morning. It still took a few hours to pack almost as much stuff into our vehicle as we had brought up with us, and another hour and a half to get it all back home. Over the next few weeks we divided our supplies into giveaway, toss, and keep. We managed to reduce a carload of boxes to one small box of wedding keepsakes. And, then, like that we were married.

It went by quick. Although enjoyable, celebratory, and fun it also felt a bit like we were putting on a show. In that sense there was a certain relief to having completed the program the following day, and this feeling combined with the subtle elation of being newlyweds and the fatigued disappointment of maybe having, perhaps inevitably, been so busy we missed out on some of the fun, to create an odd mishmash of feelings. None too strong, and still on the whole superseded by happiness, but nevertheless complicated. A quick transition to a honeymoon could have perhaps returned the feeling of the enterprise to a higher note, but unfortunately our dear Dorian's health declined significantly after our return and we had to put him down just a few days later thus delaying our trip to the Yukon. It was the right decision, though, given our limited time with him, and honeymoons can always wait. There's an excitement to be had in the anticipation anyway. Regardless, the wedding was over, we both had new rings, and, honestly, the only thing that felt substantially different when it was over was a new sense of permanence. A peaceful, enjoyable, serene sense that Liz and I, previously together indefinitely would now be together forever. At least until one of us is eaten by cats.

T+1.5 Hours: First Dances & Fiesta

I danced with my mom to Rascal Flatt's "My Wish" in an act of great love and personal sacrifice.

Liz danced with her dad to Neil Young's "Heart of Gold" in a slow moving, but elegant nightclub two-step.

Liz and I danced together to Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" in fun, but slightly clunky fashion thanks to Liz's long dress and my robot-like dance moves. The real winners, though, were the three foot long sparklers which provided us with a flaming white circle which to dance in and gave our introductory song "Danger, High Voltage" by Electric Six the relevance it needed to be included in our musical lineup. The sparklers also took some pressure off us, since most guests were completely mesmerized by fire (especially when one of Liz's cousins tried to fashion a combo super-sparkler and instead rendered a torch) and unaware of our performance.

Danger! Danger! High voltage!

Alright it's really friggin' cold out here. Every back inside for some cake smashing, err cutting.

The reception itself went fairly well. The up lights were thankfully changed from their initial rainbow color palette to the requested amber which looked great. The food was enjoyed by most although we heard unsubstantiated reports after the fact that the fish and veggie dishes didn't delight universally. And the dessert options were fabulous with the definite exception of their cutting -- I think Luccah could have cut the cake with more intelligence than the Stone House staff who basically cut the edges off the lower levels of the cake until an inaccessible three-tiered cake cylinder remained -- and the possible exception of the middle passion fruit layer which was a tad dry. Adam, Ashlee, Sara, Dave, John, Jinnie, and my dad all gave toasts of some sort, and although Liz's dad's toast included a fair amount of revisionist history they were all heartfelt and well received. Unfortunately only a small portion of Sara's toast made it onto film. An interactive wedding quiz was bravely put on by Moriah and Gabby, but they didn't have quite enough stage presence to quiet the crowds and our crowds didn't have quite enough consideration to quiet themselves. So, all in all, not the perfect reception, but, all in all, still a great experience I will always happily look back on.

 Because, well, cat butts...

T+30 Mins: Time for a Petting Zoo!

I'm a fairly easy to please guy. A wedding is enough when a wedding is planned. As long as there's cake and a donut castle. :) Liz, on the other hand, is a woman of far greater vision. She is a woman of imagination. Inspiration! Perspiration! She is a woman who knew what she wanted for her wedding, eventually, and what she wanted was goats. So goats we had. As the clock struck 5:30 and we recessioned out to the back of the venue, the goats processioned in. Along with their friends the chickens, the bunnies, the sheep, the miniature horse, and Lenny the llama. Accompanied by a generous supply of handlers, they initially congregated in the parking lot before we were able to usher them in to a section on the back of the patio, where they then proceeded to be adorable for an hour. Only down side? Hard to get people to take family photos when all they wanna do is take animal photos.

 

 

T-0! Forever and Ever I do

Finally! Wedding time!

With her head cocked back and her arm outstretched Liz stepped out onto the top of the iron staircase leading down to the first floor of the Stone House patio. [Unfortunately we can't share that moment with you, because it was captured by neither video nor photo. I don't even know if people saw it because the DJ started my music cue while all eyes were still on Butternut giving the rings to Kendall at the alter. Maybe it never happened at all]. She grabbed her dad's hand, and made her way down to the ceremony [carefully- in poorly fitted heels on a steep twisting staircase] waiting for her below where she was joined by her mom, the three of them making the final steps to the wedding arch where we would be married [and realizing on the way that parts of the path were only wide enough for 2 people, which was awkward]. It was like much the rest of the wedding would be, a detail laden combination of highly choreographed theater [was it?] and Doctor Horrible's sing along blog. Traditional wedding beauty and personal, touching quirkiness. The following is a brief summary of ceremony events:

Wedding Processional Song- "Somebody to Love" by Queen

[I timed out the entrances of all members of the wedding party to the Queen song to ensure even pacing and logical use of musical cues. The main goal was to have Scooter emerge at the climax of the song. The coordinator was totally unmoored by the plan, and it didn't help that we couldn't practice it in rehearsal because I hadn't brought the right edited version of the song. It didn't quite go to plan during the wedding, but at least Scooter made his cue. Hopefully at least one person noticed.] {As a counter comment, all that mattered was I depart at the right moment, which was easy, and everyone else depart in a relatively spaced out manner, which was relatively easy. Perfection, if possible, would have been wasted effort.}

Bride Processional Song - "Be My Baby" by the Ronette's.

Opening Remarks - Kendall, our officiant, opened with a good lawyer joke as any lawyer should, followed by the usual introductory remarks and a passage from the Supreme Court marriage equality case on a more secular meaning of marriage. Lest things get too technical, this was followed by a retrieval of the rings from the Ring Beagle for a communal ring warming. Thankfully, everyone loves a Ring Beagle. [At some point, Sara reminded me not to lock my knees... wise words.]

Readings - My sister Heidi read a passage from Winnie the Pooh and my sister Tammy read the lyrics of "The Book of Love" by the Magnetic Fields. They were about as well received as any wedding reading is.

The day before the wedding, Liz found a three-pack of rainbow unicorn notebooks to serve as written sources for our readings and vows. 

Chemistry Unity Ceremony - Liz and I collectively think unity ceremonies are a bit dumb. Why does anyone need to waste five minutes of everyone's time to symbolize what everyone clearly understands to be happening with a boring candle that doesn't even explode in the end? We were both convinced otherwise, however, when we realized we could use the opportunity to make something explode or, given the lack of available eye protection, at least foamy and frothy. Our more controlled soap bubble explosion was the "elephant toothpaste" chemical reaction (NaI + H2O2 + dish soap) which, although it didn't have quite the kick it had in earlier practice sessions, steamed and fumed nicely. Thankfully everyone loves a good foam explosion.

[There was back-and-forth in the weeks leading up to the wedding about the feasibility of a potentially messy ceremony display. I was worried about getting iodine and food coloring on the venue's nice stone patio or on people's fancy clothes. To make a long story short, we decided to proceed but set up a table with a shower curtain to contain the overflow. I thought we would do the display off to the side so if there was spillage, we could move away from it, back to the arbor to continue to ceremony. I was surprised when Ro and Adam picked up the table and moved it right over to the arbor (surprised is not something I wanted to be during the ceremony). What if the ground got dyed foam in the place where my expensive white ground-dwelling train was supposed to be? I was hugely relieved when the foam extended to the edges of the table and then obediently stopped expanding.]

Vows -  After a quick farkle [or, as 99% of us call it, Ro-Sham-Bo -- the traditional way of determining vow order], we delivered our views. Arguably the most important part of the wedding aside from the legally binding "I do"s, we both decided to hand write our vows in the week or so prior to the wedding. I generally find I deliver lectures better when I familiarize myself well with the material and speak off the cuff more than reading from a script. Unfortunately this wasn't like delivering a lecture, and I stuttered and flubbed and choked up just a bit [I didn't notice the flubs]. 😅 Liz, perhaps knowing better, read directly from her notes and delivered a clearly articulated series of vows like a true wedding professional. 😎 Mine started with a reference to the deficiencies I witnessed in other relationships as a younger man, followed by a commitment to always be grateful for Liz and to never take her or our relationship for granted, while Liz touched on various defining moments in our relationship which helped solidify her belief that I was the one she would spend the rest of her life with. As official texts of The Greatest Wedding Ever, local anthropologists requested the words be preserved for future generations. They were thus forever bound in unicorn emblazoned, rainbow colored note pads consistent with current practices.

Another Reading - Shadi shared a quick amusing comment from Willy Wonka which, like all wedding readings, was tolerated.

Marriage License Signing - Liz really wanted to incorporate the signing of the marriage license by our officiant and two witnesses (our mothers). Although I thought it may crowd the ceremony some, I consented because I love her, she is wonderful, and because we used Europe's "The Final Countdown" to transition to the signing. [I wanted our ceremony to be grounded in the practical, not just the fluffy and sentimental. This is a legally binding contract, people.] Plus Liz also rainbow glitter duct taped every surface of the clipboard and razzle dazzled the pens with peacock feathers. Thankfully everyone loves a rainbow glitter taped, peacock feather pen?

Declaration of Intent, Rings, and Kiss - These all went about as you would expect them to. Fantastic. 😄