The Gift That Keeps On Giving TIll It Kills You 5

Month five brought the long lost and feared missing cereal bowl specials. Five new flavors based on childhood cereal favorites -- corn flakes excluded. They were a good batch overall though I must admit the inclusion of the worst of the Captain Crunches was disappointing. I think a good Corn Pops or Honeycomb ice cream could be good. As long as they don't bring back that computer animated manic chihuahua thing. Jeez, what the hell was that??

 

- Off Limits Dash Cold Brew Cocoa Crisps

Scott: I don't really have much to say about this one. It was good. I'll just second what Liz said.

6/10

Liz: Standard coffee, but I like the chocolate swirl.

6/10 

 

 - Peanut Butter Captain Crunch (vegan)

Scott: Ain't ever going to eat no stinkin' peanut butter ice cream.

0/10

Liz: Peanut butter with a bit of a crunch. Kind of boring.

5/10 

 

- Corn Flake Cookies with Merrionberry Jam

Scott: I'll just be honest. I don't want jam in my ice cream. Does anybody?

Nope/10

Liz: Like a plain vanilla with a little bit of cookie any a few big veins of jelly. I like the jelly. Wish it was mixed in a little better. Mmm... 5.

 5/10 

 

- Snap Crackle Marshmallow Treats

Scott: Tasty base. Kind of creamy marshmallowy and yummy. Rice crispies themselves were more kind of like, "oh, huh? interesting." But, oh, that base!

8.5/10

Liz: Alright the base is good, tastes like milk at the bottom of the cereal bowl. [Editors note: yuck]. Has some rice crispies that are more chewy than crunchy. It's ok, something a little different. 

5.5/10

- Pots of Golden Rainbows

Scott: I liked the Lucky Charm marshmallows except when there were too many Lucky Charm marshmallows when I was, like, "woah! Marshmallows!"

8.5/10

Liz: Also has that milky bottom of the cereal bowl base. [Editors note: still yuck]. I like the colors. The marshmallow treats still have the flavor I remember, but not the melt in your mouth texture that I remember. It's good.

7/10

The Gift That Keeps On Giving Till It Kills You 4

The fourth batch of generously gifted Salt and Straw ice cream was a shocker. Instead of the cereal-themed ice cream most the nation got we received Miami's box of weirdo ice cream flavors. Some turned out to be good. Most did not. Some of these names are frankly getting a bit exhausting.  

 

- Salty Donut Guava & Cheese

Me: Why the puff pastry? I don't entirely understand the guava and cheese either, but at least they paired well. Has anyone eaten a tasty ice cream and then written the manufacturer, "good, but where puff pastry?" I just don't understand this ice cream.

5/10 (-2 for puff pastry)

Liz: Cream cheese makes it creamy, and the guava is a nice fruity complement. It has a crazy amount of fat so I am only allotted one bite per day. *Changing the subject while looking into the fridge* Yeah really don't have a lot of food in here do we...? [Liz note for context: this was at 11pm, just after returning from travel.]

7/10

- Panther Coffee Chocolate Tres Leches

Me: So good. After doing this a few months now I am increasingly convinced the "tres leches" is just labeling fluff, but regardless of what this ice cream is actually composed of it was delicious. Then again my coffee-flavored ice cream floor pretty much starts at a 7/10. Also, thankfully no puff pastry.

8.5/10

Liz: I don't think I really tried this one. Pretty much just a plain coffee ice cream?

5/10

- White Chocolate Très Leches Donuts & Toasted Meringue

Me: Anything with this many words in its name is too pretentious for its own good. It was tasty, but also a bit pretentious. I mostly remember trying it, and thinking, "oversold."

7/10.

Liz: Mmm... 9. A successful blending of multiple desserts into a delicious ice cream. My favorite of all the Salt & Straw pints we've gotten so far. Generous lodes of soft marshmallow fluff.

9/10.

- Wynwood Brewing Mango Habanero IPA Sorbet (vegan)

Me: A decent mango sorbet that slowly gets hotter and hotter the more you eat. No idea where the IPA is. I am increasingly convinced the "IPA" is just labeling fluff.

6.5/10    

Liz: Tried one bite, confirmed it had a kick, and stopped.

1/10

 

- Exquisito Chocolates Hazelnut Cookies & Cream (vegan)

Me: Don't think I tried this one. If I did I don't remember it. Not sure which is better or worse.

?/10

Liz: It was alright.

2/10

 

All vegan ice creams were again donated to our vegan friends Angie and Dick thus completing the vegan ice cream circle of life.

 

 

The Gift That Keeps On Giving Till It Kills You 3

The third batch of generously gifted Salt and Straw ice cream was a return to what Salt and Straw does best, making ice cream with the cream. And this month's batch was a "Best Of" box celebrating their epic flavors and crown jewels and something else sounding probably a bit much for an ice cream. There was still an obligatory monthly vegan batch which was pretty good -- and kuddos to them for offering options for those who are lactose- and dairy-intolerant -- but the middling Lemon Cheesecake Crumble aside they were all quality, 7's and above! 

 

- Salted Caramel Cupcake

Me: The cupcake aspect of this remains a mystery to me, but the salted caramel aspect of it inexplicably led me to eat the entire thing the second go after poor, beautiful, darling Liz only had her taster teaser. (I regret nothing).

8.5/10

Liz: I barely got a bite of it, but I don't remember it being very compelling. I hardly remember it. The dough was good?

5/10

- Strawberry Tres Leches

Me: Good. Tasted kind of tres leches-y and kind of strawberry-y and all around was a solid ice cream. I wouldn't write home to the family about it, though.

7/10

Liz: I like the jelly, but I don't like the distribution- just a few big globs and many bites without any at all. The strawberry background is ok, but not exciting.

6/10

- Cinnatopia Cinnamon Bun

Me: Very tasty. Also a bit one note. Like one big cinnamon note. Except for the giant ribbon of molten cinnamon which had a very characteristic blast of cinnamon note. If the ribbon had been distributed a bit better it probably would have added something to the composition, but mostly it was a threatening gel of cinnamon flavor. Though I suppose if you want pure, uncut, super saturated sugar and cinnamon you could always go straight to the source. 

7/10.

Liz: I'd say same as for Strawberry Tres Leches. I could've eaten a bowl of the swirl filling. Somehow an extra hard consistency, had to work to scoop it.

6/10.

- Bacon & Brown Ale

Me: Clearly the best, and not just because I like bacon. In fact, I am not 100% sure I could tell you there was bacon in what I was eating had it not been clearly written on the container. Just something savory and slightly smokey mixed in with the base that itself was also a hard to define delicious. Wouldn't say I was eating a brown ale, but if this is what all brown ale and bacon ice creams taste like I will happily sign up for their mailing list.

9/10    

Liz: (Advisory: although Liz is a vegetarian she is also an extreme ice creamatarian and is known to recklessly tear into ice creams without caution or, apparently, bothering to read their labels.) Good flavor. (See! She won't even acknowledge her disturbing bacon eating behavior!)

3/10 (-5 for bacon)

- Lemon Cheesecake Crumble (vegan)

Me: Probably the best vegan ice cream I've eaten so far which makes it a solidly middling regular ice cream. Given the coconut non-dairy base it would be better titled Lemon Coconut Cheesecake Crumble. The crumble component wasn't particularly memorable -- I'd actually forgotten about it till I looked at the label again -- but, sure, it was tasty too.

6/10

Liz: Tastes like coconut.

2/10

 

Update: to all parties concerned about the fate of our middling vegan ice creams it just so turns out we have some vegan friends that just can't get enough of this stuff. Truly the gift that keeps on giving!

The Gift That Keeps On Giving Till It Kills You 2

The second batch of generously gifted Salt and Straw ice cream was not ice cream. Maybe it was in the same sense that there are a number of commercially available milks for sale these days that at no point in their production involve an actual milkable mammal, but not in the sense that it was tasty in the way real ice cream is, which, I think could be safely argued, is the entire point and sole reason for ice cream. It was all vegan made without the assistance of dairy or any other animal affiliated product. I'm generally anti-vegan ice cream because of a history of trying crummy vegan ice creams, and in that sense this batch did not disappoint. Overall they were actually better than I anticipated, but in the end only marginally so. There was one flavor that was surprisingly good, but unfortunately not surprisingly good enough to be worthy of the title "ice cream."

 

- Peanut Strawberry Crumble (vegan)

Me: Why pair peanuts with strawberries? Has anyone ever asked for this?

Pass

Liz: Couldn't taste any strawberry. Peanut flavor was ok.  

3/10

- Banana Avocado Sorbet (vegan)

Me: Tasted like baby food. Excuse me, baby food that was frozen and sold as dessert.

2/10

Liz: Kind of just bland. No tartness or sweetness or anything.

2/10

- Bourbon & Caramelized Honeycomb (vegan)

Me:Surprisingly good. Enjoyable "honeycomb" flavor, and, sure, I can believe something like bourbon in it. Still a bit grainy-textured like most vegan "ice cream," but I will admit I had it a second time. Not a third time, though.

6/10.

Liz: I remember it was ok, but just not as good as dairy ice cream.

4/10.

- Coconut Rice Pudding (vegan)

Me: Like an icey grainy dessert I'd get at a Thai restaurant. Not bad per se, but not something I'd order. Except when at a Thai restaurant choosing amongst a handful of desserts I'm feeling generally ambivalent about.

5/10    

Liz: Don't remember it.

?/10

- Chocolate Hazelnut Cookies & Cream (vegan)

Me: I vaguely remember thinking, "well this isn't as disappointing as I was worried it would be."

4.5/10

Liz: <had given up by this point.>

Pass

The Gift That Keeps On Giving Till It Kills You

First there was coronavirus. Then murder hornets. Now a year's supply of ice cream in a month every month. A generous Christmas gift has blessed our humble home of two with five pints of Salt and Straw ice cream for the remaining 12 months of our lives. At the end of which we presumably turn into an ice cream. Or a cholesterol embolus. And if we are going to go down gorging, we may as well provide an objective* measurement of our gorging.

 Each month we'll provide a break down of that month's 5 unique Salt and Straw ice cream flavors with our official vote on its quality, worthiness, and general testament to the need for its existence on this planet.  Which will be recorded as a ten point score. For me, my 10/10 best in life ice cream is Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream with S'mores a close runner up. For Liz, her 10/10 is Haagen-Daz's Dulce de Leche with Tolenti's Egg Nog a reasonable sub in a pinch. And away we go, December's offerings...!

 

- Cocoa with Peppermint Patties

Me: Good solid chocolate. Tasty peppermint patties. As billed. I'd eat it.

7/10

Liz: I liked it. Good peppermint flavor. Good chocolate. I'd eat it.     

7/10

- The Great Cookie Swap (vegan)

Me: Barf. Pass. 

No/10

Liz: Good, but not worth the fat.

4/10

- Gingerbread Cookie Dough

Me: Very cold. Probably great for those who love gingerbread. Maybe just decent for everyone else. And yet here I am eating two bowls of it in a row. Maybe I love gingerbread? 

6.5/10.

Liz: Maybe a 6. 

6/10.

- Almond Brittle with Salted Ganache

Me: First bite was "wow, this is pretty amazing." Then I had a little bit of the salted ganache, and was like, "wow that was pretty amazing." Then after about a dozen more spoonfuls I said to myself, "you know, for an ice cream flavor leading with 'Almond Brittle' in its name I sure don't taste much in the way of almond brittle." Then I found some almond brittle and, friends, no thanks. I mean, if you love almond brittle and wish it was thrown in large chunks into a frozen dessert, this may be for you. But not me. Too hard and cold. And almondy. And salty. 

6.5/10     (just Salted Ganache: 8.5/10)

Liz: This one's good, but I feel like I've had better Salt and Straw flavors. I don't usually go for ice cream flavors that, like, have a lot of stuff folded into them. Are you going to put this all down? Oh, I just got a really delicious bite of chocolate ganache. Oh yeah, that's really good chocolate. And, oh, here's a bite of almond brittle. 

7/10

- Dwanta's Teremania Spiked Eggnog

Me: It tastes like eggnog if it was frozen. Which is good, but also somehow... unremarkable? Uninspired? Pedestrian? Just boring. 

6/10

Liz: The booze isn't overwhelming, but more than I want in an ice cream. I mean the eggnog under layer is good, but I'd rather eat regular eggnog ice cream like Telanti Eggnog gelato** 

3/10

*By objective we mean entirely subjective. Opposite Day!

**This blog post in no way is intended to serve as an official endorsement of or advertisement for Haagen-daz or Talenti frozen desserts. It it intended, however, to be a wholehearted endorsement of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream. Americone Dream 2024!

Monkey Island

In late December of 2017, just after Christmas, we visited Monkey Island, a small island off a bigger island in the middle of the Caribbean. The Caribbean islands as a whole have not had native primate species for some time, but some number of decades ago that changed. A population of rhesus macaques was brought to Cayo Santiago just off the southeastern coast of Puerto Rico to establish a research colony for primate research at the nearby Caribbean Primate Research Center. Our visit was just a short while after Hurricane Maria and the research center, nearby town of Punta Santiago, and monkey island had all been hit hard.

Our trip was part of a greater series of relief efforts which would slowly help rebuild some of the town and research center. The island itself had few permanent pre-storm structures -- the monkeys had never gotten around to building any themselves -- but the few that existed were mostly blown over or, in many cases, damaged beyond repair. Thankfully the dock which is the only means of shepherding supplies to and from the larger island remained intact. Although it is always difficult to do accurate counts given there are estimated to be 1,000+ macaques broken down into a number of mobiles groups on the island at any given time, it is estimated that only a few monkeys perished during and after the storm. Shortly after the hurricane passed the first priority was repairing Punta Santiago's dock that served as the point of departure for the daily monkey chow to the island as its vegetation and limited resources cannot support the monkeys long. This was completed by the time we arrived -- though there were still many gaps in the planks and missing boards. Our task was to help with debris clearance in anticipation of the future rebuild.

For two days we ferried over to the island and hauled twisted metal and splintered wood from one place to another. It was hot and humid even in December, and, with a few older individuals participating in the venture, we took far more breaks than probably were warranted, but nevertheless we succeeded in moving individual pieces of debris into huge piles of debris for latter shuttling off the island. Along the way we were occasionally followed by monkeys, but typically more often we were ignored completely. There was a little bit of monkey sex and a bit more monkey fighting and that was it. Aside from monkey chow time -- when the monkeys would swarm and stuff as many monkey biscuits into their hands, tails, and pockets as possible before running off awkwardly on their hind legs -- and periodic monkey migrations -- when a large herd of seemingly endless monkeys would move en masse for presumably brilliant monkey reasons -- the monkeys were more scenery than major players in our Monkey Island visit. Which is probably good because they can both be ornery and disease vectors which is never a good combination (see Herpes B virus). Interspersed amongst the monkeys were a number of iguanas that seemed equally indifferent to the presence of either of us. The most surprising aspect of our trip to Monkey Island was actually not the fauna but the flora. Or rather the lack of it. While once tropical and green the storm winds had stripped most of the leaves from the palms that typically provided cover and a once shaded island was now quite sun exposed. This was true not just of Monkey Island, but much of Puerto Rico as a whole. The power of the hurricane was still clearly visible even 3 months later.

Our work on Monkey Island aside we also helped repair some roofs, scrub mold off a ceiling -- or at least tried to, and pulled up soggy old flooring from nearby homes. There were thankfully folks with better carpentry skills than our own so hopefully the efforts are lasting. Local accommodations were provided at a hotel in the capital which was almost entirely occupied by electrical workers and individuals from various governmental and nongovernmental organizations. Although the country side and city of San Juan were not as destroyed as I had feared, the impact was still clearly present as the destruction of the island's power grid led to regular power shortages even a hundred days later and traffic lights that still didn't function. We also visited with a friend of Liz's, Nicky, who worked at the primate center and lived in a nice little town home nearby. We toured some of the nearby beaches, visited Old San Juan -- which I think is a beautiful gem of a historical town -- and ate a good number of plantains in its various incarnations. Although not a huge fan of mofongo I will never turn down a good fried plantain. 😃💟🍌

The Dot With the Smudge In the Sky

Comet NEOWISE got a lot of attention recently because, well, I guess because it's a comet. Being celestial object loving folks -- Liz in particular -- we decided a few evenings back to find some place dark and untraveled to take a look as Davis, despite being a small town, is next to a fairly big town, Sacramento, and in a haze concentrating valley, Hades. For whatever reason this required us driving about an hour northwest. I admittedly started to loose faith in my trusty navigator -- the aforementioned and quite beautiful Liz -- as we seemed to be heading into worse viewing areas around the 45 minute mark. We approached the coastal mountains raising the horizon on the west, the endlessly flat fields of Davis and Dixon were being replaced by the scrubby trees of central California, and we passed the giant Cache Creek Casino which served as a beacon of both artificial light and continuous car traffic in the darkness. Nevertheless a few minutes later we found another large and abandoned field with few trees and pulled over. After a few minutes of adjusting our eyes and about an hour or so after sunset we finally saw it. A moderately bright star in the northwest that, if you looked closely -- or crosseyed apparently if you are Liz, had a faint whispy glow extending above it. Looking at it closer with the binoculars it looked much the same, but clearer. Like a period you made with a pencil and then attempted to erase with a crappy eraser leading to a giant graphite smudge. It wasn't anything dramatic, but it was pretty. It was also the first comet I've actually ever seen. I missed comet Hale-Bopp in the 90's and purposefully opted out of comet MMMbop that same year. Because of its closeness to the horizon and dusk it never got terribly bright, but it was a unique experience and one that I am glad I got to share with my loving companion. The one hour drive back home was pretty boring, but every good comet story has to include a prolonged drive to nowhere doesn't it? Doesn't it?