The fact that the corners are not crisp, there is an overabundance of tape, the flap lengths are all uneven, and that I did not even cut enough paper for the whole project and so had to graft on not one but two extra appendages of wrapping paper are only partially disguised by my not so clever use of bows, poor lighting, and unusual construction patterns. Indeed this is the one skill I have picked up over the years. How to wrap presents so clumsily that it appears as if on purpose. Such a secret is what keeps our nation's postmodern artists fed, and it works for me. Occasionally, though, namely when the gifts are large and square, I do succeed in finishing a presentable product:
Not bad, huh? But then I go and produce something like this:
The wrapping job's ok, but I definitely had to resort to sticky notes as improvised gift tags. And as I ran out of scotch tape I had to resort to staples. Sarah's gift is now securely fastened to her shipping material. Actually I lie about the tape -- it's the one thing I do make sure I have an abundance of. And bows!:
Beautiful! I really don't know how I have failed to get better at this -- perhaps I simply just don't practice enough -- we need Christmas at least three times a year! -- but I have. Although it should simply be a matter of roughly measuring size, slowly cutting smooth lines, appropriately folding corners neatly, and taping conservatively in key areas, I cannot quite pick it up. I even managed to cut myself at one point with the x-acto knife -- someone will get a little extra love and blood with their present this year -- and I am still not entirely sure when or how. Whatever the case, Christmas wrapping makes me merry and my general lack of skills aside I am happy for the time being.
Next up: Christmas trees and Christmas lights. Let's pretend I don't have the ICU coming up in three days!
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