Tuesday, July 13, 2021

The Gift That Keeps on Giving Till it Kills You 7

Month seven brought the literary flavors. A group of flavors that were impossible to remember because their names were meaningless, but a group of flavors that despite their wasted breath were surprisingly delicious. In fact, this has been my favorite month to date. These flavors were supposed to be inspired by favorite childrens authors, but I saw no "Jim Davis: I Hate Mondays." Perhaps I just led an uncultured and uncivilized youth. Whichever the case, whatever the reason for their creation, these were the ice creams that came closest to usurping Americone Dream. 

Postscript: due to editorial neglect the contribution of Guest Writer Liz was not solicited until the monthly ice creams had been long since consumed. A generous off the cuff interview was provided to fill the gaps, but any lack of wit or wisdom are strictly the fault of the editorial staff.

 

- Smile: Words & Pictures

Scott: After reading the name I, of course, had no idea what this was going to taste like. It tasted, however, like creamy, spongy, Italian heaven. The almond infused sponge cake gave it a pleasant flavor and unique texture unlike most ice creams I've had while the bits of chocolate offered a striking and enjoyable contrast in both taste and substance. It was all well mixed and evenly distributed such that every bite was a delicious one.

9/10

Liz: The sponge cake didn't do much for me. I liked the stracciatella. Saved it from having an even lower score.

5/10 

 

- Geronimo Stilton & The Salted Frozen Feast

Scott: After reading the name I, of course, had no idea what this was going to taste like. The ingredient list seemed to primarily consist of cheese. It was a salty delight that grew on me the more I ate. The Ritz-like crackers sounded insane, but I must now confess it was insanely genius.

8.5/10

Liz: Points for unique flavor profile. The salty parmesan-y was unexpected but not unappreciated. Not sure I would buy it regularly but I enjoyed it.

7.5/10 

 

- Amulet: Fruit of the Gaboda Tree

Scott: After reading the name I, of course, had no idea what this was going to taste like. It was fine. The "gaboda" fruits were small and tasty, but swimming in a much larger sea of a nice but largely unremarkable creamy base. The alleged cocoa nibs I think maybe I could appreciate, but maybe I'm just suggestible. I think it was fine.

6.5/10

Liz: I don't even remember what that one wasted like. Wasn't it like, a boring vanilla background with little flecks of passion fruit? I guess I never really got into that one.

4/10

 

- Twins: A Matching Pear With Cinnamon Swirl

Scott: After reading the name I assumed there was a book called Matching Pear With Cinnamon Swirl that I had missed out on as a child, but, already uninterested in the theme and not willing to google it, I moved straight on to tasting. It was a relatively simple flavor, but also a simply delicious one. A very satisfying cinnamon pear with a subtle cream cheesy creaminess. There are a lot of fruity desserts out there; this is one of the few I can recall ever having that was pear-based. It is unique enough that I would definitely seek it out again.

8.5/10

Liz: I liked it because I don't think I've ever had pear ice cream. Also had that gooey sweat cinnamon cream cheesy swirl so I liked both the base and the swirl in. It was pretty good.

8/10

 

- Goosebumps: Monster Blood is Back!

Scott: After reading the name I, of course, had no idea what this was going to taste like, but I knew it was going to be crazy. And it didn't disappoint. The glow-in-the-dark-green monster blood was crazy. The crunchy red strawberry bark fangs were crazy. The whole thing, straight ice cream crazy. It wasn't necessarily the best ice cream I've ever had -- the monster blood in particular was a bit heavy on the pineapple juice -- but it was the craziest. I would recommend everyone try it. And then order some Smile: Words & Pictures. :)

8/10

Liz: The salted mango base was unusual but good. The nuclear green syrup was visually offensive but tasty. The strawberry bark fangs, eh, I could go either way. I think they added some nice texture.

 4/10 (+2 if eyes closed)