T+100ish Hours: Denouement

After the wedding was, apparently, the picking up of the wedding. Thankfully the Stone House allowed us to complete the majority of this the following morning. It still took a few hours to pack almost as much stuff into our vehicle as we had brought up with us, and another hour and a half to get it all back home. Over the next few weeks we divided our supplies into giveaway, toss, and keep. We managed to reduce a carload of boxes to one small box of wedding keepsakes. And, then, like that we were married.

It went by quick. Although enjoyable, celebratory, and fun it also felt a bit like we were putting on a show. In that sense there was a certain relief to having completed the program the following day, and this feeling combined with the subtle elation of being newlyweds and the fatigued disappointment of maybe having, perhaps inevitably, been so busy we missed out on some of the fun, to create an odd mishmash of feelings. None too strong, and still on the whole superseded by happiness, but nevertheless complicated. A quick transition to a honeymoon could have perhaps returned the feeling of the enterprise to a higher note, but unfortunately our dear Dorian's health declined significantly after our return and we had to put him down just a few days later thus delaying our trip to the Yukon. It was the right decision, though, given our limited time with him, and honeymoons can always wait. There's an excitement to be had in the anticipation anyway. Regardless, the wedding was over, we both had new rings, and, honestly, the only thing that felt substantially different when it was over was a new sense of permanence. A peaceful, enjoyable, serene sense that Liz and I, previously together indefinitely would now be together forever. At least until one of us is eaten by cats.

T-2 Days: Wedding Prodrome

At the time of my proposal Liz and I had been together three and a third years. We had been inseparable for almost the same. Given this history, our generally laid back attitudes, and our initial grand matrimonial ambitions, our plans for our wedding were built upon a one year to one and a half year timeline. Too many couples are stressed by the experience -- too stressed to enjoy it -- by trying to get things done faster. Why not slow things down to actually enjoy being engaged? Unfortunately, almost immediately after our engagement we received the terrible news that Liz's dad had fallen ill with an inoperable tumor that was, in all likelihood, a terminal process. Thus what was originally going to be an eighteen month engagement quickly became six months, and the leisurely process became something of a forced march. Nevertheless, through hard work (mostly Liz's), ample use of vacation time (mostly mine), and the assistance of family and friends (mostly Liz's mom), it was now two days prior to the wedding and it appeared everything was on track [Liz: kind of on track?].

As we approached Nevada City, a lovely old Gold Rush-era town in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada, some residual thunderstorms were still rumbling through. It was a beautiful, gray, overcast fall day. We had spent the morning filling Liz's Ford Escape with bags, garlands, broken lab glassware, three foot long sparklers, and a host of other DIY decor; had secured our nervous and moderately medicated beagle into the front seat; and had dug out a spot in the back for our sick gray tuxedo kitty, Dorian Gray, who had a few days prior received a terminal diagnosis of metastatic disease. We were as we usually are: a traveling band of pets and props, detailed plans, nervous excitement, and perhaps too much luggage, heading towards the official start of our combined future. I cannot speak for Liz who was a bit more emotionally invested in putting on a good show, but at that moment, on that day, all was going pretty much according to plan and, at least in the small world of our upcoming wedding, all was relatively well [Liz: err, not so much]. Despite the busyness that had led up to this day which had dulled many of the emotions we may have otherwise experienced, I was happy and I was excited. We checked in to our heavily shall we say "Eastern"-themed airBNB chosen because of its pet friendly renting policy, unloaded our supplies at Liz's mother's rental a short walk up a steep hill from our wedding venue, had dinner, practiced some dancing (no amount of practice was going to make me a good dancer), [Liz: don't forget about my anxiety/grief/exhaustion breakdown in the evening], and had a sit on our BNB's back patio love seat under a pile of blankets with our cat and our beagle. The wedding was upon us,battle stations!