They're Practically Giving It Away!

It's time to get tough on aid.

Every year the United States hands out billions, probably trillions, of dollars freely to whoever asks for it. Want some cash, Greece? How's $25 billion sound? Need to build something, Morocco? Build a thousand of 'em, here's a million. Got problems, Nepal? Oh yeah don't we all, let's see what forty mill will do for ya. Surprise me. It is a well known fact that the US spends, like, what, at least 10% of our federal budget on foreign aid every year? Maybe even 20 or 30%, I don't know. It's just probably a lot. And what do we get for it? Nothing but nothing. It's time America got what's hers.

That's why I'm happy the GOP presidential candidates are finally standing up for fiscal responsibility. I appreciated it when Rick Perry stated that every year the foreign aid budget would start at $0. And I loved it when Bachmann demanded a song and dance from every ambassador requesting assistance while she would use the ambassador's attache as a foot stool. Gingrich's statement that he would respond to every aid request with, "explain to me why I should give you a single m---- f----- penny," was the kind of frank diplomacy we need in the world. That's always been the whole problem. We just give these guys a blank check, have them fill in the zeros, and then never talk to them again until the following year's aid dispensation party.

It would be one thing if these countries helped us out by, like, assisting with our antiterrorism efforts or making peace deals and cooperating with Israel, or even if doing good deeds like eradicating infectious disease was still it's own reward, but that's not happening and it's not. Pakistan hasn't arrested a single terrorist and I'm pretty sure their army and the Taliban probably totally hang out and watch cricket together on the weekend all the time. Plus as Senator Santorum pointed out, "if we solve all the world's problems then they'll never learn to solve them themselves. As the saying goes: If you give a man a fish he'll eat for a day; if you teach a man to fish he'll eat for a lifetime. And then cripple your domestic fishing industry so we probably shouldn't do that either." Plus it's not like the world's got a monopoly on poverty. I only make $32,000 a year breaking my back, putting in long hours. I don't even take all my sick days! I know as an American what's poor here ain't poor everywhere, but I bet that's not too far from the global average. I imagine I could kick back and watch a game with some dude in Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan while we share a few Buds.

Diplomacy isn't easy, but it ain't rocket science. Until we can get everyone to finally start wearing their "friend" and "enemy" badges liked we've asked -- and get them to stop trading the damn things around -- we should at the very least demand an accounting for our charity. And a return on investment. With a nice letter of thanks. And maybe a gift basket. Containing the hand written thank you notes of children and the drilling rights to offshore oil deposits. Just a small token of appreciation with cash value equal to or greater than that which we have so freely given.


In other news, despite the American public's perception that around 25% of the federal budget goes to foreign aid in fact only about 1% ($37 billion FY 2010) does which is less than the approximately 5% ($185 billion FY 2010) of the federal budget spent annually on national debt interest. Although a little over $1.5 billion went to Egypt last year, $4.2 billion was spent on assistance for refugee populations and $9.8 billion was spent on the President's Global Health Initiative started by former President Bush to help combat HIV and other infectious diseases in developing nations. The median US income in 2007 was $25,076 and placed one in the top 10% of global wage earners. Justin Bieber is set to marry Kim Kardashian in next year's wedding of the century.

Freedom Isn't Free

Freedom isn't free.

But it sure comes cheaply for some people.

While in DC I went to Arlington National Cemetery. On a coincidentally dark and drizzly day I meandered all throughout the acres and acres of bleached white, uniform tomb stones. Although I did not feel any particular great emotion at the time -- I am a robot after all -- on my walk back some strong feelings did stir up in me. Being in a city built, in part, on the legacy of Ancient Greece I felt led to prophesy. An oracle a la me.

Four years from now the world will not end. The United States will not become a socialist state. Terrorists will not win. Obama will not reveal his hidden Islamic faith. And real Americans will continue live quite responsible lives, work in their communities, or lie dead in the soil.

I am not often angered, but one thing that angers me is the frequent insinuation, or outright exclamation, that supporting Obama or the current administration in any way suggests a deficiency in love for your country. As if being a Republican makes you more a true-blue American than being a Democrat or nothing at all. The converse was undoubtedly murmured here and there with the prior executive and it certainly came as a surprise to some that the Patriot Act did not in fact lead to fascism, but the sentiment has never been so frequently whispered, from what I can tell, as it is now.

Supposing establishing your conservative credentials did somehow give one a "Genuine Patriot" merit badge, being such an aficionado would not give whatever cause of the day it is one's championing any more credence. Correct my misguided, half-American understandings if they're wrong, but votes are not tallied based on nationalism and the nation's concept of civil discourse was not founded on jingoism. Partisanship is nothing new, and, truly, partisanship masquerading as love for your country itself is likely ageless, but the newest incarnation of it still saddens me. If you want to fight for your country, join the military and fight for your country. If you want to serve your country, join your church or local service organization and serve your country. If you want a better nation for your children, live a responsible, productive, considerate life that will make a better nation for your children. But please, save the rhetoric for your internal monologue. We're Americans; we're better than this.

Besides, I am the greatest patriot. Make me king. George Washington would have wanted it that way.

Eat Peanuts Weekly Unto Death

Although the great majority of children with egg and milk allergies outgrow their ailments by three years of age, an even larger majority of kids with peanut allergies will never escape them. For the 5 - 15% or so who are fortunate enough to have their immune systems calm down long enough to appreciate the vitamin E rich satisfaction of chunky peanut butter many will later have their allergies reemerge. The solution? Continuous dosing with peanuts. Allergists, or at least the allergists I know, recommend weekly peanut ingestion for those lucky enough to have their peanut allergies resolve so as to ensure that the body never again pauses to think whether peanut peptides are foreign and hostile or not. Not having any peanut allergies myself, I gotta say: sounds nutty.

Speaking of nuts, this week I took part in two vasectomies. Turns out they are remarkably simple procedures and, in the Air Force at least, take place while the patient is entirely awake. First they cut you open, then they find the right structures, clean 'em off, and clip, snip, cauterize and you're done. The incision itself is only maybe two or three centimeters long at most and doesn't even need to be sutured or glued close. Moving on...

Senioritis is becoming particularly strong. I can remember fondly the days of third year when I would be embarrassed, guilty, and disappointed with myself if I did not adequately prepare for a part of my medical duties. When asked if I had read for something that I had not read for I would have admitted my error and followed it with a string of sincere apologies and construed excuses. This week when I was asked if I had read about the vasectomy procedure, however, I just replied, "no," and we continued walking down the hall. This is my last rotation before residency starts up in June. Three months of relative idleness sounds edifying.

Most of the residents and staff physicians have been nice I must say. With few exceptions it has been an extremely pleasant experience to work family practice at Andrews. One of those exceptions is an awkward sort of woman who looks at me funny way more often than anyone should ever be looked funny at. Half the time I haven't even the slightest clue what brought on that particular contortion of facial features. I am admittedly not the most openly friendly person when working with senior physicians, so perhaps I just bring the weirdness out of her, but good lord woman at least look goofy when the person you're looking goofy at isn't looking directly at you. Fortunately or unfortunately that is about all I have to say with regards to my clinical experience here.

Completely unrelated to anything I have written about previously. It seems whenever I hear Senator Clinton speak she is emphasizing her resolution and toughness against the endless onslaught of Republican hate and slander. She alone can take on the GOP beast. It appears to be her primary defense against the mesmerizing powers of Senator Obama's inspirationally vague oratory. I fear she isn't being blunt enough, however. Americans need simple phrases like, "yes we can" and "I like Ike"to be brought around. That's why I think her campaign needs to create a poster in the course American style. Have her in one of her many professional yet feminine dress suits standing behind a lectern with both hands in the air waving two middle fingers; a headlining caption reads "F--- Republicans!" and maybe a "2008" at the bottom for good measure. At the very least it'd save us having to hear the same sound bites over and over again.